Mary's place....

I'm sorry guys, but I just had to put my head on
the chopping block for this one.

It's amazing the way this gal has been vilified by members of this group. I
suppose one can understand why though, when some people are so transfixed
by a character that they will demonize anyone who even looks cross eyed at
him.



But Mary's reaction to this situation *is* entirely
normal in these circumstances.

For one, she did seem like a good match for Straker in the beginning, for
at first, they BOTH seemed like rather quiet, reclusive, and private
people....and they seemed very much in love. Straker had not yet taken on the
hard assed persona that the later solitary years with SHADO (the years the show
shows him in) had given him.



As for it being a mistake for them to marry in the
first place - don't forget, they did marry before SHADO took off and began
bulldozing Straker's life. True, Mary did know beforehand, as a military
man, he had work issues he couldn't talk about, and for a long time she
*did* put up with that issue like a champ. It was only after a prolonged
duration that she eventually began to break down....



She put up with months, a year, of being alone all
the time and rarely seeing her husband, this all in the beginning of what was
supposed to be a wonderfully looked forward to marriage and new life....and with
no end in sight! Add to this her pregnancy and the fact that she was having
to go through it all practically by herself....She was feeling at the absolute
bottom of Straker's priority list....and Straker wasn't doing much to counteract
this feeling!



Let's face it folks, Mary was the
victim of SEVERE neglect here, and prolonged exposure to such
conditions leads to serious depression and loss of self esteem. That is enough
to change anybody's commitment to another person and a relationship.



There is a scene in CCAOK, where after yet another
dissappointing cancellation from Ed, they show a severely depressed and very
pregnant Mary struggling up the stairs to yet another lonely night alone.... I
can't help but feel so SORRY for that girl! Life was absolutely TERRIBLE for
her!



The only mistake she made in that relationship was
initially being naive.... Not stupid or bitchy, but NAIVE. She was a perfectly
fine girl who got trampled on by a situation that got out of control, namely her
husband's career crushing EVERYTHING else out of his life, and the husband
neglecting to support her needs, seemingly at all....



In the end, she bailed on the relationship. Her
needs weren't being met. She got burnt out and left. It's what ANY
woman in her right mind would do in the same situation. It is BECAUSE she
stuck with him so long, absorbing all his neglect and feeling so lonely and
unappreciated all the time, that she got paranoid, and lost her judgement and
composure. Then ANYONE else's input and advice would seem so good to her,
because she wasn't getting anything from her OWN HUSBAND!



Maybe she did close her mind off to him in the
end.... on the "alledged affair", and loose patience with his never giving her
any of his time. But tell me, who of you all wouldn't wear down and loose
patience just the same, given the same circumstances?.... Don't lie
now!....



Many a passionate, can't loose relationship fails
under the punishment of harsh reality. Straker may be the misty blue eyed
Apollo, irresistable to some women....at first. But then try to live with him
for a few years and put up with his neglect, and try being the fragile,
lonely, housewife and on the bottom of your mate's priority list, and see how
YOU feel after a few years.



Frankly, I think she did the right thing in leaving
him. The situation started out right but went sour. It happens. She moved on,
found another man who stayed home with her and met her needs. Surprizingly, if
you watch AQOP with an open mind, you'll see that in the beginning she's still
not bitter with Straker yet. In fact, she seems still affectioned to him, and
seems (at least in the eyes of *this* insensitive male pig) to
feel regret for the unfortunate way things have turned out for the
poor guy.



I agree, she shouldn't have sent Straker away
before the kid got to show him his boat, but then Straker could have very easily
stood his ground for a few more measley minutes. She didn't seem vindictive in
asking him to go, so he *could* have waited for Johnny.



And as for her yelling at Straker to "DO
SOMETHING!...."



....He was his FATHER, and he is the PROBLEM
SOLVER for his kid! Of Course she's going to look to Straker to deal
with the problem! She's not going to look to Rutland, She didn't snog
Rutland to make this kid!!!!



In the final end, after all the botching up Straker
did in dealing with his family life, and the death of his son, I can't blame
Mary for being bitter. The situation isn't all that cut and dried; NOBODY was
totally at fault for Johnny being able to run loose in front of the car, and
nobody was clear of blame either.



In the end Straker has to take the biggest
hit for taking on the responsibility of obtaining the medicine from overseas,
and then half assedly following through on it. After all, Mary's new husband DID
offer to charter a special plane for it and the problem would have been solved
right there. But Straker took the responsibility away from Rutlage, and then
used an uncertain and risky scheme to get it brought over, and then in the end
didn't have the stones to force the situation through to a sucessful
conclusion.



Sorry to burst the bubble people, but there's one more humble
opinion : )

the evil Dave



__________|__________


___\___(*)___/___

o/
\o




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thank you - you took the words right off my email.

Mary married a man who was available and attentive who then turned absentee
and negelectful. One night out on the town doesn't make up for weeks of
being ignored. We aren't given a reason why she didn't continue working
after their marraige (it might have saved her self-esteem) but we know she
didn't have that as an outlet. Chances are very very good she was raised to
believe the delusion that the 'right man' would take care of her and give
her all she needed emotionally and physically.
Straker's neglect very thoroughly destroyed that illusion for her without
giving her anything else to fall back on. Add to that that Straker and SHADO
security hadn't developed a cover story for him that would convince a
three-year-old, what else is she to assume?
He came home too tired to do anything but sleep. She had every reason to
believe he was sexually normal (he had drives) but was too 'tired' to have
sex more than a minimum of times. Chances are very good she'd been taught
that men were insatiable - therefore, what conclusions are open to her? -
he's getting it somewhere else.

Mom's PI was just the last straw.
Straker and Barry meet and go to her apartment - even the scripted dialogue
they have is leads us to believe the worst - we have the relief of seeing
them enter a roomful of familiar faces.
Mary doesn't have that relief - SHADO's security precautions set it up to
make it look like he's playing around and then we are supposed to be
surprised when his wife believes the lie? It didn't need to have been a PI
who saw them (he just took the pictures) - it could have been Mom herself,
or a friend of Mary's who first reported seeing Straker with another woman.

What we see are two young and immature people who thought that their 'love'
would be enough to last them through the good times and the bad - Neither of
them was mature enough to realize that both sides have to give 110% and
SHADO was getting already 200% from Straker.

As to the complaint that Mary was screechy? Most women get screechy under
stress, it comes from having higher pitched voices. I do a fair imitation of
a blackboard myself when I'm thoroughly pissed off.

Deborah R.



-----Original Message-----
From: davrecon [mailto:[hidden email]]
Sent: Saturday, June 30, 2001 12:00 AM
To: UFO discussion group
Subject: [SHADO] Mary's place....



I'm sorry guys, but I just had to put my head on
the chopping block for this one.

It's amazing the way this gal has been vilified by members of this group. I
suppose one can understand why though, when some people are so transfixed
by a character that they will demonize anyone who even looks cross eyed at
him.



But Mary's reaction to this situation *is* entirely
normal in these circumstances.