Ordeal (alernate ending)

As I mentioned before I quite like the story as it stands,minus the "its all a dream ending" of course.
So how about this:

As Foster splutters back to breathing normal air again,he seems vacant and unsure.We immediately see a CU of his eyes as a montage sequence errupts depicting details of his abduction experience.Images not previously featured.Needles,probes,colours,lights,cut-ins of alien suits at deformed odd angles,Fosters reaction shots,tussles,grimaces.More shots of the original kidnap at the health facility...you get the idea.A clear reference here to a modern alien abduction.All held together by a suitable Barry Gray composition.

Foster eventually regains his countenance.Ellis:are you alright Paul.Foster holds up his hand and nods reassuringly.Ellis looks around at everyone somewhat relieved.

Cut to SHADO HQ medical centre.Doctor Jackson is just finishing examining Foster.Jackson:How much do you remember of your experience.Foster:Just feels like a bad dream,as though it never really happened.Jackson:Well just
call in and see me from time to time.Foster:OK Doc.
Camera dwells on Jacksons face.He seems intrigued by Foster in some way.Foster leaves the centre and into the corrider outside.

Cut to Strakers office.Straker:Well Doctor is Paul Foster fit for duty...I mean really fit for duty? Jackson:Ah!..in my opinion he is as fit as any man in SHADO.Straker:But will he crack? Jackson:I don,t know.No one has ever survived an Abduction by a UFO before.It could be the experience will make him stronger.Awaken dormant skills,sensitise him to danger.Straker:Or it could break him.Jackson:Everyone has a breaking point Commander..even you.
Paul Foster has survived an Ordeal which he had no chance of living through,but he DID live through it.
He must be given every benefit of every doubt we might have...to do otherwise would be a mistake in more ways than one.
Straker:Alright Doctor...you,ve made your point.Paul Foster
A1 fit for duty..Straker closes the medical report and hands it back to Jackson.Jackson walks out.

We see Paul Foster clamber into his car...reflecting thoughtfully on his Ordeal ..then he gets on with the business of a senior Officer in SHADO.Low angle shot from the rear as his car drives off into the distance.
End Credits.

Mark UK

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> We see Paul Foster clamber into his car...reflecting thoughtfully on his Ordeal ..then he gets on with the business of a senior Officer in SHADO.Low angle shot from the rear as his car drives off into the distance.
> End Credits.

Hmmm, some good work there, Mark. That would actually have
worked - provided they hadn't shown shots of the interior of the
UFO; that seems the real sticking point in many ways.

Dave.

Or alternatively ... We see Paul Foster clamber into his
car...reflecting thoughtfully on his Ordeal .. suddenly his shirt rips
open and a vicious little creature erupts from inside his chest. Or
has that been done somewhere before ;)

Dave.

[hidden email] wrote:
>
> Hmmm, some good work there, Mark. That would actually have
> worked - provided they hadn't shown shots of the interior of the
> UFO; that seems the real sticking point in many ways.
>

No need to though - they could have put him in a canister, like
the victim in Sound Of Silence (who also survives his 'ordeal')

Surviving the crash on the moon is what makes Ordeal most
unlikely for me - I'd change that as well. Perhaps force the
UFO to crash land on the Moon somehow, although of course it
doesn't need to go anywhere near the Moon to be fair.

>"Mark Davies" <[hidden email]>
wrote:
>As Foster splutters back to breathing normal air again,he seems vacant and
>unsure.More shots of the original kidnap at the health facility...you get
>the idea.A clear reference here to a modern alien abduction.All held
>together by a suitable Barry Gray composition.

Naturally.

>Camera dwells on Jacksons face.He seems intrigued by Foster in some
>way.Foster leaves the centre and into the corrider outside.

Interesting... hmm.

Jackson:Everyone has a breaking point Commander..even you.

Nice line.

>Paul Foster has survived an Ordeal which he had no chance of living
>through,but he DID live through it.
>He must be given every benefit of every doubt we might have...to do
>otherwise would be a mistake in more ways than one.

This seems more like a Straker line than a Jackson line, but otherwise, a
good scene.

>We see Paul Foster clamber into his car...reflecting thoughtfully on his
>Ordeal ..then he gets on with the business of a senior Officer in SHADO.Low
>angle shot from the rear as his car drives off into the distance.
>End Credits.

Pretty cool, Mark. You'd make a good director. *grin* Thanks for rewriting
it for us!
Denise

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Heh heh <looking other way and innocently whistling>

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sigourneysslave@f... wrote:
> We see Paul Foster clamber into his car...reflecting thoughtfully
> on his Ordeal .. suddenly his shirt rips open and a vicious little
> creature erupts from inside his chest. Or has that been done
> somewhere before ;)

SHADO raises it and trains it as a computer programmer. :-) When it
wants to etch a microchip, it would not have to go far to get one
essential substance. :-)

Or, Foster thus finds that alien spacesuits are lighter than Earth
spacesuits and much longer lasting on a filling, and he keeps on
using one when he has to go in space.